Sonika Sethi

My mother always wanted me to marry an army officer. I don’t know why but I certainly know why I couldn’t comply.

I was a small town girl, low on confidence and an introvert. I could never imagine myself being married to a man belonging to the armed forces. Moving from one city to another especially to metros was my Achilles’ heel. I don’t know if there is a phobia dedicated to my condition of the fear of big cities.

Studying in one of the popular convents of town, we had a considerable influx of army officers’ children and many of the officers’ wives took up teaching assignments in our school. The way these women and children acclimatised themselves to the changed environs and places, left me awestruck. The awe invariably played a hindrance in my striking a close friendship with them. However, the observer in me, beyond doubt, studied them as subjects of interest.

Soon I realised that life was not all rosy for the families of the men in uniform, especially their wives. Moving from one place to another at a regular interval is tough. Looking at the brighter side, they would enthusiastically say it made them adaptable and pan-Indian. When one of my classmates from the army background would inform me that her father has been posted to a non-family station and they are staying back, my heart would go out to the lady who was supposed to take care of her family single-handedly. I admired these ladies for their grit.

As a person who likes to stick to one’s roots, at times I reflected if these women felt any emotional discomfort leaving a particular station or a set of friends. It also came to my knowledge that sometimes they get postings at places which can hardly boast of comfortable surroundings or social life. The credit goes to these women for making the best of the worst situations.

Apart from a high level of emotional stability, these ladies are supposed to possess a number of skills that include being a pillar of strength to not only their own families but also to the families of hundreds of men of the units. They have to work for the development and empowerment of the wives of the jawans.

Socially, they are considered to be good managers and hostesses. In school, I observed the army officers’ wives could be easily distinguished from the rest of the teachers with the way they carried themselves with grace and poise and even in their social manners. Everything about them bespoke of confidence and élan.

A woman donning so many hats and playing myriad roles cannot be an ordinary woman. It takes a lot of strength, courage and valour to be the wife of a man who serves the nation by being in the forces. The men can be out there on the frontiers protecting the nation only because they are convinced that their families are in safe hands of such gutsy women. It is from them that they draw the power to make overwhelming sacrifices for the country. Bravo to these women behind our heroes in uniform!

sonrok15@gmail.com

The writer is an Ambala-based college teacher